Wine People, Wine People Problems

I’m Out of Wine! Winter Wine People Problems…


Since the weather has the equivalent of “Hell Freezes Over” I have done all I can to stay in the house and hibernate. I literally only leave for work and mandatory appointments. I try to grocery shop one my way to and from work and appointments. I hate the snow. I hate the cold. I am NOT people who should live in the Midwest but here I am. So that bone chilling cold and snow seeping into your knit Ugg boots (which I love but are not at all reasonable for actual weather) there is only one thing that has been able to truly warm me up – Red Wine.

Now I drink a lot of wine all year round so you would think I had this figured out, but this is my first “real winter” in many years after living in a much warmer climate. I’ve looked into wine delivery but it turns out unless you’re buying like 10 cases at a time, it’s hard to find. I have tried planning in advance – buying 12 bottles at a time (which nicely usually comes with an additional discount) but there’s a problem that comes with that. It’s sort of that, “If you build it they will come” thing – except in Wine People translation it’s “If I buy it, I will drink”.

That’s right, for some reason 12 bottles only seem to last as long as 6 bottles. Winter is turning me into a wine-a-holic. The only solution I can think of? Sunshine. And if you can’t bring me that, someone send me some teeth whitening strips because this red wine is taking a toll.

Wine People Presents

White Elephant Wine Gifts

My family decided this year we were strictly buying gifts for all the kids in the extended family and the adults instead are doing a White Elephant grab bag. Naturally, whoever ends up with mine will certainly have a new wine item and a great laugh. I figured this would be a great idea for a first post on my blog: White Elephant at all prices.

Under $10
Sir Perky Novelty Bottle Stopper – $8.99
There are a lot of pretty hilarious wine stoppers but this is hands down my favorite. It’s just pretty hilarious plus I kind of hope someone like my grandmother ends up with it.

Dapper ‘Staches Silicon Drink Markers – $5.91
Yep – mustaches are still funny. Funnier if they’re stuck to wine glasses making it look like your sister has a mustache. These are much more fun than little wine charms plus they work for stemless glasses.


Double Wall Insulated Wine Tumbler – $9.99
Or as my sister calls it “Mommy’s Sippy cup”.  A great way to be running around the house doing chores and drinking wine without worrying about making a mess by spilling or break a glass.


The Essential Scratch and Sniff Guide to Becoming a Wine Expert: Take a Whiff of That – $12.61
I already know which cousin I hope would end up with this book. He’s always asking me lots of wine questions that this book could really help him out with. It’s set up in non-intimidating way… Plus how many scratch and sniff books are left out there for adults?

Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass – $14.12
I’ve seen pics of this all over Instagram and Pinterest and now I found one for purchase. True story – even if I am the one putting this in grab bag, I am going to try to get it and keep for myself.


Foldable Wine Bottle – $12.59
I’ve actually used these for a few different occasions. They’re great to smuggle your wine and other booze into glass-free places or concerts or even cruises. They hide through x-rays except for the cap and hold a whole bottle of wine.


Silicone Wine Glasses – $19.99
For the uncle that likes to go camping or the cousin (which in my family would be me) who is particularly clumsy, these “glasses” are perfect. The bend, can be dropped, are easy to pack and will never break.


3-in-1 Wine Pourer, Aerator, and Chiller – $17.95
And then try to convince that family member who is always dropping ice cubes in their wine it is not longer necessary.


Open Door Policy Doormat – $18.20
Bring wine and we will open the door? That’s pretty funny – and because after the holidays I will be SO over visitors -I’m sure the mailman will at least get a laugh out of it.


(Click on the images to link to Amazon. All links are safe – and most items have Amazon Prime eligibility – that means if you’re a member, free 2 day shipping in time for the holidays!)